Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
