the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
