I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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