I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
