what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
