We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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