Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Randomize
