They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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