just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I think my moral compass just broke
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
