I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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