We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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