They should really pass out barf bags in church
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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