If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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