Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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