Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
That accounts for only three of the penises
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize