i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
