You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
