with your own penis?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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