You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
