Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low

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(805): View more from California

who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->

Fav 9 877 2575
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(423): View more from Tennessee

Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.

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(785): View more from Kansas

This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday

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(415): View more from California

i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.

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(305): View more from Florida

The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever

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(613): View more from Ontario

New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.

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(569): View more from

My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.

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