Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I have feelings that need drinking.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
