Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
