There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
