Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
We are two peas in an std pod
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
