Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
