She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
