I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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