bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
