I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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