think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
