I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
