I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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