Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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