I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
