either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
