yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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