I murdered the dance floor call the cops
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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