is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
