is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
