remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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