I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
