Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
