Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
