Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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