Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
party gras won. party gras always wins.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Randomize
