If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
