im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
