it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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