Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she looked like the before picture.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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