return my video game
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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