oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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