you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
