and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize