Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
