She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
