The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
