It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
