hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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