So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
