either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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