East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
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