Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
