You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
only you would photoshop your dick
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
