we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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