will power is for people who don't want to get laid
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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